I can confidently say I was a shitty kid.
I was a bully at school for absolutely no reason. (Whether my family knew it or not.)
While back at home I was trying to comfort myself when things were out of my control.
Truth is we are all dealing with some sort of childhood trauma. In return, have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms that have hindered us from being able to live healthy lives with healthy relationships.
Here are 5 ways that helped me and I hope helps you on your self-healing journey.
In reality we are all just big kids with trauma and you have to be able to let our inner child feel and forgive before we are able to forgive ourselves now.
Though we live in the ripe age of cancel culture know that you are developing as an individual and each new phase in life requires an abundance of grace. Though we seek forgiveness from others remember that's part of their healing journey not yours.
The only accountability you need to take is for yourself and to begin your healing journey you have to allow yourself to feel and forgive yourself for your mistakes.
This can be difficult for some since meditation isn't necessarily something everyone does.
Sit in a room you feel comfortable in.
I personally love to lay on my bed where my pillows normally are with my bum on the wall and my legs resting up on the wall. This position is proven to help with anxiety...which I am the perfect candidate for.
I wish I could give you a walk-through meditation but everyone is different and what worked for me might not work for you. Youtube is a great place for walk-throughs.
Please be patient with yourself and remember the longer you are able to be with your inner child the more you are able to tap into them during your everyday life. (This will be important for #5)
write a letter
This one is HARD because it can hurt right where you thought you were healed...
Write a letter to your younger self and let it be truthful.
If you are trying to heal from childhood trauma make sure you are able to write what you would want someone to tell younger you in times of comfort. You don't have to go into deep detail about what happened, but let them know they aren't alone in this journey and that none of this is their fault. Give them words of encouragement and love. Remind them that they are beautiful and absolutely valuable.
Finally, read it out loud to yourself.
Bring them out
This one is my favorite!
In order to truly embrace your inner child let them come out and play.
If something sparks a cheerful childhood memory TAKE IT IN.
If today your inner child wants to pick out your outfit WEAR IT!
Play a song you used to jam out to as a kid!
The list can go on and on. There's no structure to it! The point is to allow them to feel valuable by enjoying that child-like energy.
talk them through emotions
The ultimate test is when you have something trigger a trauma response or a memory.
Please know that it's important to feel everything, but it's also more important to validate those feelings while you are processing.
Taking the time to listen to each emotion can be terrifying. Remember patience is important especially for your inner child. Healing is a process and will take many more trials before finally mastering it.
I am no where near being completely "healed", but beginning my journey has helped me with establishing boundaries, valuing, and reparenting myself. I hope your self-healing adventure greets you with love and abundance. By healing these parts of ourselves we are able to increase our vibrational frequency thus attracting honest and healthy friendships and love. It's never too late to start!